1. The Essence of the Marriage Relationship
Paul’s teaching on the relationship between husband and wife, which begins in Ephesians 5:22, has long been considered a “difficult passage to interpret” by many theologians. Even today, it remains a subject of considerable debate. However, Pastor David Jang insists that rather than reducing this passage to the concepts of “obedience” or “submission” alone, we should interpret it from the perspective of the fundamental love, mutual respect, and complementary nature embedded in these verses. Historically, the church has often misused this text to diminish the status of women and affirm an absolute male authority. Yet what Pastor David Jang highlights is the ultimate purpose of this passage—namely, that the household should be a loving community where all members nurture and build each other up.
In Ephesians 5 and continuing into Ephesians 6, Scripture teaches about the essence of all social and spiritual relationships through the relationships of husbands and wives, parents and children, and masters and servants. As Pastor David Jang repeatedly emphasizes, “The teaching of the Bible does not remain at an ethical level but starts from a spiritual dimension.” Specifically, Paul’s concept of “submission” can only be understood properly in the light of the preceding command: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21). In this context, the verse “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” (Eph. 5:22) should never be read as demanding unilateral submission from wives. Rather, it should be seen as an extension of the mutual command in verse 21: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ,” indicating that both husband and wife owe mutual respect and reverence to each other.
While explaining this passage, Pastor David Jang stresses that we must link the idea of being “filled with the Spirit” to this call to mutual submission. In Ephesians 5:18, Paul exhorts believers to “be filled with the Spirit,” and shortly thereafter, in verse 21, he says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Pastor Jang notes that this reveals how being filled with the Spirit produces tangible fruit in the realm of relationships—namely, mutual submission. In other words, those who are filled with the Spirit naturally lay aside self-centered desires, serve others, and hold them in high regard.
The reason the passage starting in Ephesians 5:22 about the wife and the husband effectively lays the foundation for all human relationships is that God’s creation order unites man and woman as “one flesh” (Gen. 2:24). Paul directly quotes Genesis 2:24 in Ephesians 5:31—“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh”—emphasizing that the marriage bond is not merely a social contract or an emotional attachment but a reflection of God’s creative providence. Thus, the family is the starting point of all human relations and can be viewed as a microcosm that symbolically reveals the nature of the church community, according to Pastor David Jang.
But why does Paul address wives first—saying, “submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord”? Many who read this verse may suspect Paul of forcing women to submit while granting men the right to rule. Yet Pastor David Jang interprets Paul’s approach as follows: “When Paul says, ‘Wives…’ first, we can understand that the beginning of love within the home often emerges from the wife.” While cultural tradition may regard the man as the head of the household, in actual daily life, careful care and countless acts of consideration typically come from women. Pastor Jang argues that Paul was simply reflecting this reality, as if he were “asking the wives first.” Of course, this does not reduce or negate the husband’s responsibilities in any sense.
Following this, verse 25 reads, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” Here, Paul very directly emphasizes the husband’s responsibility. While it was common in that era—and in other religions or cultures—to say, “Wives, obey your husbands” (reflecting a patriarchal system), there was no religion or philosophy that demanded husbands willingly sacrifice their own lives for their wives. In that sense, the Christian teaching was revolutionary. Pastor David Jang points out that this teaching was a major turning point, raising the male-centered culture of the time to a more “horizontal and mutual” relationship with women.
Pastor David Jang also explains what the status of women looked like in Judaism, Islam, and the Greek-Roman culture of that era. Often, women were treated like property, remained in a religiously passive role of “listening,” or learned only from their husbands. But with the rise of the Christian community, women became actively involved in spiritual activities in the church; in some instances, they even went too far, leading Paul to admonish them to restrain themselves (“Women should remain silent in the churches,” 1 Cor. 14). This shows that Christianity provided a form of liberation for women at that time. Pastor David Jang sees this as evidence that “Christianity, in a society steeped in a male-dominated mentality, was indeed a revolutionary faith that taught true equality and freedom.”
Moreover, issues in human relationships—conflicts in marriage, discord between parents and children, disputes between individuals of differing social status—have always been central to human suffering. Pastor David Jang teaches that the solution to all these conflicts is revealed throughout Ephesians, especially in the latter part of chapter 5. Specifically, all human relationships must be grounded in the principle of mutual submission, which is made possible entirely by the fullness of the Holy Spirit. It is incredibly difficult to abandon self-centeredness by human willpower alone, but when the Spirit of God fills us, we become able to deny ourselves, value each other, and experience the fullness of love.
Pastor David Jang goes on to cite Genesis 1, where God repeatedly says “there was evening, and there was morning,” implying “fulness” and the “completion of creation.” He also notes that in Chinese characters, the character for “many/much” (多) is composed of two “evening” (夕) characters side by side. He explains that in this Eastern classic form, one can see the biblical truth mirrored: “As evening passes and God’s creation continues, we eventually reach the completion of a creation that is filled”—and this is revealed by the Chinese character for “many.”
He connects this concept to marriage as well. When two different individuals form a family, they may initially experience joy and excitement, but over time, conflicts inevitably arise. Yet, just as in the creative cycle of “there was evening, and there was morning,” a couple should grow more mature and fulfilled over time so that they can achieve a truly “one flesh” relationship. Thus, Pastor David Jang states, “All couples will face conflict, but conflict is not necessarily a sign of destruction; rather, it is often the inevitable pathway toward deeper understanding and genuine love.” In the midst of conflict, if one person chooses humility first, shows respect and reverence to the other, then the conflict can become an opportunity for growth rather than an explosion leading to destruction.
Key concepts here are “providential partnership” (often called ‘fated match’) and “destiny.” Pastor David Jang frequently quotes Proverbs 16:1 and 16:9: “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue” (Prov. 16:1); “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps” (Prov. 16:9). This highlights the belief that although humans seem to choose love and marriage by their own free will, God’s providence and plan are actually at work behind it all. This belief aligns with the doctrines of predestination and providence.
In Chinese, the word “天生緣分” means “a bond ordained by heaven” to describe the union of a man and a woman in marriage. Pastor David Jang points out that Proverbs conveys a similar idea: while we choose marriage by our own free will, it is God’s plan that ultimately holds the marriage together. When couples firmly believe that their relationship is part of God’s plan, they won’t be easily shaken. Without this belief, it’s easy to relativize one’s marriage—thinking, “Did I make the wrong choice? Maybe I could have chosen someone else…”—and from that moment, destructive conflict can easily arise.
In other words, Pastor David Jang sees the nature of the marital bond as a mysterious intersection of “destined encounter” and “free-willed decision.” People make the decision, but ultimately God guides that choice, and He desires us to journey together with joy within the plan He established long ago. This faith provides a firm foundation for married life. So even if conflict arises, believing that “our union is no coincidence but a necessary fate—an ordained bond from heaven” empowers the couple to overcome.
Ultimately, Pastor David Jang emphasizes again and again that the two commands in Ephesians 5:22 and following—“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord” and “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”—are inseparable. If one side is emphasized without the other, it destroys the balance and can lead to abusive outcomes. Submission and sacrifice must be mutual, and they are fueled by the fullness of the Holy Spirit. When we recognize that this love is essentially about “submitting to one another,” we come to understand that marriage is not merely a routine household arrangement, but a sacred covenant that reflects the union between Christ and the church.
Particularly in verses 31–32—“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church”—Pastor David Jang explains that this union of husband and wife goes beyond the visible physical dimension. Just as the church experiences a “mystical union” with Christ, husband and wife are likewise integrated into one another at the deepest level of their souls. And this “oneness” is never about one partner possessing or oppressing the other. Only in mutuality, reflecting Christ’s service and sacrifice, can this mystery be truly experienced.
In summary, Pastor David Jang offers a highly balanced perspective on Ephesians 5:22 and onward. He critiques the pre-modern misconception that “the husband is the head who simply commands,” while also illuminating the aspect of “the love that often begins with the wife’s service.” Above all, Paul’s main intention is to declare the principle of “mutual sacrifice and service,” teaching that the mystery and love binding Christ to the church must also be mirrored in the relationship of spouses. And this practice of love is only possible through the fullness of the Holy Spirit.
2. The Crisis of the Family
Couples struggling with marital conflict often blame one another: “Didn’t you know I was like this from the start?” or “I was never like this before.” Such resentment and disappointment gradually erode mutual trust. In these moments, Pastor David Jang urges us to recall “faith in God’s providence and predestination.” Although we choose marriage by our free will, God has already prepared a path behind our choice, and believing this is central to sustaining a healthy marriage.
The difference between seeing the marriage bond as “coincidence” versus “destiny” is significant. Proverbs 16 teaches: “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue” (16:1), “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps” (16:9). This is a declaration of faith that, no matter how much we humans plan or predict, God ultimately governs the outcome. Pastor David Jang explains, “We might initially believe that we orchestrated this marriage ourselves because we were in love, but through the lens of faith, we realize this was all part of a ‘predestined bond’ determined by God.” When one realizes that one’s relationship is hidden within God’s deeper purpose, one’s attitude toward the storms of married life fundamentally changes.
This belief fosters the conviction that “God would not allow this relationship, which He has granted, to end in vain.” Resting on that conviction, we seek wisdom to overcome conflict. Differences between spouses can transform into an opportunity for learning and growth if we ask, “Why did God allow these differences between us?” Rather than fueling hostility, these disparities prompt self-examination and compel us to seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance. Such an approach fosters respect and leads us to reflect on our own shortcomings.
Pastor David Jang also invokes a notion from Eastern classics: “Fathers and sons should be close (有親), and husbands and wives should maintain distinctions (有別).” This is a summary of two of the five Confucian relationships, suggesting that because there is already a generational and hierarchical gap between parents and children, they should actively work toward closeness, while husbands and wives, being perhaps too intimately bound in daily life, need to preserve a certain distance that respects each person’s individuality.
Pastor Jang clarifies, “Of course, there should also be healthy distance between parents and children, and genuine intimacy between husband and wife.” We should not interpret these teachings in an overly literal manner but rather capture the underlying tension of “love and respect.” Ultimately, the key is that “a relationship is healthiest when it exists in a state of balanced mutuality.” Likewise, in Ephesians, Paul’s teaching on marriage is that neither wives nor husbands should be the only ones to sacrifice, submit, or rule; under the principle “submit to one another,” both parties should create a relationship that fosters each other’s well-being.
All discord and conflicts in the family ultimately stem from “a deficiency of love,” and that deficiency often arises because each partner wants the other to change first rather than being willing to change themselves. Pastor David Jang diagnoses this as the primary cause of marital strife. He teaches that if you first humble yourself and serve your spouse instead of demanding change or sacrifice from them, God’s grace will sustain that relationship. This is rooted in a faith-based conviction: “If I initiate the love and show respect first, I trust that I will eventually reap the fruit in God’s timing.”
If one spouse persists in declaring, “I’m right,” while the other says, “I absolutely can’t give in,” even a minor problem is unlikely to be resolved. But once you resolve, “I will try to understand my spouse’s needs and situation first,” the relationship begins to soften. Of course, setting aside one’s pride and being the first to approach is extremely difficult, which is why Scripture connects this to being “filled with the Holy Spirit.” It is not feasible by human efforts alone, but when the Holy Spirit empowers us to “deny ourselves,” we become capable of forming a genuine relationship of mutual respect.
Pastor David Jang frequently references the idea that the home is essentially a “small church.” Just as the church is the body of Christ, a family should be a “community of love” in which spouses and children serve each other and operate as members of one body. This love has its source in Christ, who laid down His life for the church. Paul commands husbands to exhibit that same sacrificial love toward their wives. The husband must love his wife as he loves his own body; the wife, in turn, must respect her husband. If either side is lacking, the household falls out of balance.
Ephesians 5:26–27 refers to Christ making the church “holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word… without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” This is not just symbolic language for a wedding ceremony; rather, it represents how husband and wife should continually edify each other spiritually throughout their marriage. Just as the church grows purified through the Word, so also should spouses examine themselves through Scripture, repent, and grow as a spiritual unit. Here, the husband, as “head,” is a leader and guide, much like Christ who washed the disciples’ feet, willing to sacrifice even his own life for his wife. The wife, for her part, should respond with the same reverence and service she would offer the Lord.
Ultimately, the “mystery” (Eph. 5:32) in all this is that the relationship between husband and wife mirrors the relationship between Christ and the church. In other words, spouses must not merely accommodate each other; they should be each other’s helpers in spiritual growth. To that end, they must sometimes point out each other’s weaknesses, urge repentance, heal each other’s emotional wounds, and encourage one another to flourish in their gifts. Both spouses bear the responsibility to nurture each other into becoming “holy and blameless.”
Pastor David Jang sees marriage not merely as a human institution or a traditional ceremony but as a profound spiritual event. At its core, it involves two people freely choosing each other, yet it is simultaneously enveloped by God’s eternal plan and providence. Moreover, to protect this sacred mystery, couples must constantly seek the “fullness of the Holy Spirit.” If we neglect the Spirit and treat marriage as merely a secular exchange of emotions or interests, we risk destroying this precious bond that heaven itself has granted.
Hence, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” applies first and foremost to couples, and then extends to parents and children, masters and servants, and all other vertical and horizontal human relationships. Pastor David Jang observes that modern people often respond to relational friction by saying, “If someone doesn’t fit me, I’ll just maintain distance.” However, this attitude cannot coexist with the biblical teaching to “submit to one another.” As God’s people, when conflict arises, we should seek the Spirit’s guidance and strive responsibly so that the relationship can mature. The same applies to marriage.
In conclusion, Pastor David Jang admonishes all couples: “Never forget the absolute truth that you and your spouse were joined under God’s plan. When that absolute truth breaks down and you start treating your relationship as merely relative or optional, destruction and collapse soon follow. But when you cling to that absolute truth, pray for the power of the Holy Spirit amidst conflict, and practice mutual respect and service, marriage becomes an incredible source of joy and blessing.”
3. The Harmony of Faith & Family
Pastor David Jang’s teaching on Ephesians 5:22 and the verses that follow is as relevant today as ever. In a world where family structures are rapidly disintegrating and individualism reigns, some view marriage as an “outdated institution.” Yet Pastor David Jang insists, “Faith and Family can never be separated,” because the Christian faith is realized first and foremost in the home. Ultimately, the church is composed of many families. When families fall apart, the church itself loses its vital function.
For this reason, Pastor David Jang explains that he always reads Proverbs 16:1 and 16:9 when officiating a wedding: “To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue” (16:1), “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps” (16:9). This passage symbolizes how marriage is an agreement entered into freely by the couple, yet simultaneously orchestrated and overseen by God.
During the wedding vow, the couple declares: “I freely choose you as my spouse.” Nobody forces them. Still, the deeper you ponder, “Why this person as my spouse?” the more obvious it becomes that human free will alone cannot explain it. Pastor David Jang states that marriage is the space where human free will and God’s providence intersect in a mysterious way. Therefore, when conflicts or disappointments inevitably arise, “Remember that it is God who united us,” and that absolute belief will help you persevere and begin again.
This directly applies the doctrines of “predestination” and “providence” to everyday married life. “Providence” stems from “pro-” (meaning “in advance”) and “-vidence” (meaning “to see”—like “video”), so it literally means “God’s act of seeing ahead and arranging accordingly.” Pastor David Jang emphasizes that this is not just a conceptual doctrine but a source of great comfort and support in real life. It’s common in marriage to wonder, “Would I have been happier with someone else?” But that question itself trivializes the idea of God’s plan, undercutting the value of “destined partnership.” Pastor David Jang warns that such a mindset can become highly destructive.
He often speaks of “Shin-ga-hwe (信家會),” a term combining “faith” (信), “family” (家), and “church” (會)—suggesting that “A faithful family is a miniature church.” When the family is built on the foundation of faith and connected to the church community, mutual encouragement and edification can occur, enabling both individuals and society at large to flourish.
On another note, many have misunderstood “the husband is the head of the wife” as a license for husbands to wield authority unilaterally at home. Pastor David Jang clarifies that, in Paul’s context, “headship” implies the kind of leadership that “serves and protects.” The head coordinates and safeguards the body; if danger arises, it is the head that takes the brunt of the blow. Sadly, in any culture, we find instances where the notion of “the husband’s authority” is twisted to justify domestic abuse and psychological mistreatment. But Pastor Jang notes that this flagrantly violates Ephesians 5:25, where husbands are commanded to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”
In seminars and sermons, Pastor David Jang declares, “If a church were to reject Christ’s sacrificial love, trampling on and despising Him, that community could no longer be called a ‘church.’ Similarly, if a husband ‘tramples on’ his wife, demanding her sacrifice so he can rule, he is no longer acting as a ‘head’—he is a tyrant.” The head exists for the benefit of the body, not to exploit it. True faith within marriage dictates that the husband not dominate but rather care for and protect his wife, even at personal cost. The wife’s “submission” is meant to be expressed by respecting and supporting such a husband “as unto the Lord.”
Ultimately, the verses in Ephesians 5:22 and onward do not aim to bind or restrict spouses, but to set forth a principle of love that grants authentic freedom. Genuine love does not stem from subjugating or dominating the other, but from the “creative union” in which both partners need each other. In Genesis 1 and 2, God declares that it is not good for man to be alone and creates male and female, so they become “one flesh.” This indicates that marriage is by no means a human invention; it is part of the sacred order woven into creation.
Thus, as modern society increasingly dismisses the significance of marriage, embracing individualism and viewing marriage as merely an option or a form of confinement, the church must all the more rediscover and uphold the biblical view of marriage. Pastor David Jang asserts that marriage is not just a family formed by two people in love, but rather a life arena where we confess that such love originates in God. This confession shines brightest when crises arise—whether emotional turmoil, financial strife, or challenges in raising children. When such troubles threaten to overwhelm, faith in God’s presence and guidance offers genuine hope.
Moreover, Pastor David Jang insists, “As families weaken, the church should proactively create space for couples to share their struggles, seek biblical wisdom, and pray together.” In the past, it was common to hide family problems from outsiders. Today, however, the church should fulfill the teaching to “carry each other’s burdens” (Gal. 6:2) by offering education, counseling, and mutual prayer opportunities for marriage. When marriage ceases to be an isolated and lonely battle, and instead becomes a process in which the church shares the load, families can find renewed energy for restoration.
Hence, Faith & Family are two interwoven pillars. Abandoning God in one’s home exposes the family to the severe conflicts caused by human limitations and selfishness. Conversely, if the family is not firmly established, the church community likewise suffers from divisions and discord. That is why, in Ephesians, right after instructing believers to “be filled with the Spirit” and “submit to one another,” Paul moves immediately to address wives and husbands, parents and children, and masters and servants. This is not theoretical or abstract teaching; it is a profoundly practical guide to how faith should operate in daily life.
To conclude, when Pastor David Jang expounds on Ephesians 5:22 and the verses that follow, he stresses four main points. First, all human relationships can only be made whole in mutuality that fosters each other’s well-being. Second, such mutuality is only possible when grounded in the fullness of the Holy Spirit and reverence for God. Third, the marital bond is a “mysterious union” reflecting Christ’s relationship with the church, so marriage is never a mere human contract but rests within God’s providence. Fourth, when couples face conflict yet firmly hold onto the absolute certainty that they are a “providential match,” their household can mature and become more fulfilled rather than fall apart.
This teaching clearly differs from ancient patriarchy. Christianity introduced a revolutionary view of marriage in which husbands and wives, as equally dignified human beings, safeguard and uphold one another. Social and cultural conditions continue to change, yet humanity’s fundamental problems—selfishness, isolation, discord, and desire—remain. Therefore, the message of Ephesians 5:22 and the following verses is still vibrant today, and Pastor David Jang’s preaching continues to resonate powerfully with modern believers.
Finally, Pastor David Jang encourages believers with these words: “When living together as husband and wife, there will come a time when love alone doesn’t seem enough. In that moment, hold onto the fact that God stands behind your union. Decide in your heart that you will be the first to show respect and love for your spouse. When the Holy Spirit pours out His power upon that decision, your home will reflect a glimpse of heaven. May you live as a blessed couple who wash each other’s feet throughout your lives, bringing each other the joys of God’s kingdom.”
This is precisely what Paul sought to convey: the relationship of Christ and the church is not merely a theological or abstract concept—it must become alive in our own families. Pastor David Jang’s explanation aligns perfectly with this: love reaches its true completion in a relationship where both parties face each other, humble themselves first, and serve first. This is the heart of Ephesians 5:22 and the following verses—and it remains a vital exhortation to the church today.